by C Obasare
Reader discretion is advised – enjoy!
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathise with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet was without sin” (Hebrews 4:15)
Sex has always been a taboo subject in not only Christian societies, but even the wider society and even amongst friends who share ‘everything’. Sometimes when people have sex with the ‘wrong’ people and are asked how they managed to succumb to their desires, they respond:
“Oh, one thing led to another and it just happened!”
I strongly disagree with the “Big Bang” theory and any other bang theory for that matter. Every event or occurrence in our lives is brought about by a stimulus or instigator. Every hurricane, tornado, volcanic eruption or any other natural occurrence does not ‘just happen’. We should not fear taking responsibility for our actions and stop blaming it on “The Theory of Happenings”. This is the only way God can really deal with us and ensure that WE don’t let it happen again. Don’t be like Adam and hide from God. Did Adam really think that God would not find Him? Do you really think that God will not find you?
However, the real issue is this pedestal upon which sex has been placed. When you have it, it seems like you’ve dipped your hand in the cookie jar. Some married couples probably even felt this way at the outset of their marriage. So many people glorify this act until it looks ridiculous. It is a bit like money; the only reason it has value is because everyone has agreed to it, because honestly, it is just a piece of paper. Really. Don’t get me wrong, sex is a gift from God that I’m sure all can enjoy at the opportune time, but too many people make such a big deal of it that it has become somewhat distasteful. I just don’t get it. When you have sex, then what next? All that work for what, a two-minute or so high? Is it really worth it? Is it that good?
I really don’t know, but I believe that there is so much more that God wants us to enjoy in this life, but we are too busy missing the point. Some of us are too caught up with not having it, that we fail to truly appreciate some of our friendships. Others are too busy having it to realise how dependent they are on it. Is this how God really intended it to be? You tell me.
Sex in marriage is a beautiful thing, I’m sure, but it’s more like decoration, an ornament on a Christmas tree. The world has made it into this forbidden fruit, which is probably why so many are after it (remember Eve in the garden?).
“I have come into this world so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind” (John 9:39)
Christian and non-Christian alike have become blinded by this idol called sex that we fail to see the bigger picture – the Christmas tree. When all the decorations and candy canes are taken off, what’s left? The tree, but what does it represent? God has blessed us with something wonderful called friendship. Then again, we’re too busy running after or away from relationships to realise that this must be the foundation for each one. A friendship is like a sharing of souls. If it sounds sexual, you need to ask yourself why. It’s like a hybrid of lives. Sounds like a marriage?
Well, a marriage is more like a fusion of lives where a whole is formed. That’s the only difference. It’s amazing how many times in the Bible we are encouraged to have this sort of communion amongst ourselves: confess our sins to each other, be kind to each other, live at peace with one another. Basically we need to have a go at each other. Not just a selected few. If we truly want to understand and enjoy this life, we need to reach beyond what we have read, society’s norms, what we’ve been told and taught about enjoyment and fulfilment and find out for ourselves what these things really mean and how they can be translated into our own lives. Here is a funny story that should get you thinking. A friend of mine told me of someone who was told under hypnosis that he would get an orgasm each time someone shook his hand. So said so done. He went around greeting people and you can imagine the rest. Believe it or not, but the truth is a lot of the things that we run after or away from are usually feelings: pleasure, fear, pain, euphoria, but there is much more to life. Something beyond which we can see, feel or touch that takes us to another place where we are untouchable, invisible, invincible, flying without wings and smiling. This is our home. Our haven or heaven. Where we want to belong. Where we’re safe. “God has planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.” (Hebrews 11:40)
That is reality.