It was on the 8th of October 2010, that I wrote “Adversity is a GREAT Teacher”. Here I am today reflecting on all the adversity that came my way during 2010 and the lessons that I learnt. I experienced several sputnik moments. Adversity slapped me in the face whether I was looking or not.
Freedictionary.com uses these words in relation to adversity:
A state of hardship or affliction; misfortune.
A calamitous event.
distress; affliction; hardship
an unfortunate event or incident
My greatest lesson for 2010 was the true meaning of love. I learnt the difference between being in love and loving someone. For all these years, I believed that I knew the difference – was I ever so wrong!
Picture yourself going along your day to day life thinking to yourself,
You wake up one day and realise that you are lost. You then try to figure out how the heck did you get lost in the first place.
In the book, 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman explains that the in love feelings last on average two years. Two years?!?! When this feeling passes, we then think that we no longer love. I saw my past relationships flash before my eyes, and suddenly, it made sense.
Love my dear friends is NOT a feeling!!! WHAT?!?!!? Then what is it?
Love is a choice. Love is a decision that says:
“No matter what, I am going to love this person.”
I then posed several questions. For example, “what if I am in an abusive relationship, should I love this person?” The answer – yes; you can choose to love this person from a distance.
Most of us have heard “God is love.” Have you ever thought about what that really means? God loves us all, regardless of our past or present. Whether we reject Him, disobey Him, deny Him, etc, God still loves us.
So my friends, as we continue into 2011, let us all try to live love. Remember that love is a choice, not a feeling. It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if the person has lost most of his/her interest in receiving it. Say to them today in words similar to these, “I love you. Period. I choose to love you even if you don’t love me in return.”